I Love You
by kate10011
Summary: The first time that he ever told her that he loved her had been perfect.


**Author's Note: Just a quick one-shot for all the broken hearted Sean/Alex fans.**

* * *

**I Love You**

She'll never forget the first time that he told her that he loved her. It had been on one of there rare days off just after he had returned to Division, after the failed ultimatum and her relapse.

_They had been laying on the couch in his apartment, the TV had been turned off after they got sick of the background noise interrupting their enjoyment of each others company. There limbs were so entangled that it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. In short everything was perfect._

_For some reason she was laughing, she could never remember what he had said, whether he had been telling a joke, or a funny story, or making fun of Owen (again) or Michael (again), or another one of his old Seal buddies. She had loved how he used to look at her with adoration when she was happy, seemingly content to watch her smile or laugh. At some point, he had leant down and captured her lips in a kiss that made her knees weak and her head spin. His fingers stroked her jawline and ran through her hair as he pulled away ever so slightly._

_"I love you Alex" He whispered softly, almost to low for her to hear._

_She choked on her words. Not once had she told a man, with the exception of her father, that she loved them and meant it. The first real boyfriend she had ever had was a convenient connection to the drugs that she was addicted to, and the boys that followed before Sean had never been around long enough for feelings to have developed that far. Sean chuckled at the confusion and shock that registered across her face._

_"You don't have to say anything Alex" He whispered, "I'm not expecting anything, I just wanted you to know that I love you and I'm going to be here for you, no matter what mean the world to me."_

There was no comparison to the first time she told him she loved him, clutching his body to her as he became to weak to move, whispering over and over again "I love you, you mean everything to me." She had known for weeks now how she felt, but always assumed that they had more time, that they had forever. He was indestructible in her eyes, more than human. Yet as she confirmed his lack of pulse, it had never been more clear to her that he wasn't. He was gone. She had no one and nothing left.

* * *

She went back to their apartment, they had only just moved back in after moving to Division when they faked Sean's death. The basket of laundry was still on the coffee table waiting to be folded, on his nightstand was a Harlen Coben novel he was halfway through, his favourite ratty old sweatshirt was hanging over a chair in the kitchen. Slipping it on over her clothes she headed to the office and opened there safe. It didn't contain much, two passports, a box of family heirlooms, and a stack of legal documents. She pulled out the letter she had always known was in there but never thought she would have to read.

Crawling onto his side of the bed, she opened the envelope and began to read.

_Alex,_

_I love you, that's really all there is to say. If nothing else you remember that, remember I love you because you are the most amazing woman I have ever met. You're strong and a fighter, and I never want you to lose that. Don't lose who you are, the woman that I fell in love with._

_I know that you think you're broken, and damaged and only good for this stupid fight, but I want you to know something, you are perfect. Alex, you are the most perfect woman I have ever met. Anyone would be lucky just to spend a moment with you. And one day you'll find someone who knows just as well as I do, and when that day comes Alex, as hard as it is for me to say this, don't let me be something that stops you._

_All I've ever wanted was for you to be safe and happy. I know that this is a fight that you are going to win Alex, and I'm just sorry that I won't be there to celebrate with you. I'm sorry that I won't be there to spend the rest of our lives together. The one thing I ever wanted to do was to spend the rest of my life with you, to raise children with you and watch them raise their children._

_I never want you to have to read this letter, but if you are, all you need to know is that I love you, and you've made me happier than anyone or anything on the planet could ever do._

_I love you so much Alex and all I ever would want is for you to live your life and be happy._

_Sean._

As she read the letter over and over again, she wondered how he ever thought it would be possible; for her to be happy without him?


End file.
